IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN...

A few years back me and my buddy started making observations of the commercials we saw during the Superbowl.  Here's what we noticed during this year's marketing blitz...

THING I LEARNED DURING THE SUPERBOWL

-Marsha Brady becomes Machete when she's hungry (Machete likes Snickers)
-Apparently skittles are a big deal to arm wrestlers
-Arnold can't be the governor anymore, so he wants to be a Terminator again.
-Coke can stop cyber-bullying
-Fast and Furious + Jason Statham.  That is all.
-Dove products has taken the bait and switch to a new level.
-Nissan, bringing fathers and suns together since...???
-This year's commercials, right in the feels.
-Doritos can get you a girlfriend...and a stepkid.
-Love doesn't pay the rent but it can sure help out with Mickey D's dollar menu
-A little blue pill will pimp your ride.
-Heisenburg filling your perscriptions, not a good look.
-The icky shuffle still sells.
-Is it an emergency, a pizza order, or a drug call?
-Katy Perry halftime=WIN! Welcome back Missy Elliot!
-Liam Neeson will go Qui-Gon Jinn on your ass in Clash of Clans
-Pierce Brosnan is pretty much done with action movies
-Whether it's a football or a teddy bear, Tom Brady throws a perfect spiral.
-The Slap...really?
-Farve & Carve.  LMAO!
-And last but not least, the moral of the story:  When it's 2nd & goal and you know Marshaun Lynch has eaten his skittles, you give him the damn ball.

See you with a new list next year!

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ONCE AGAIN IT'S TIME FOR...

Just a few hilarious things I observed that compile a list of --

Things I learned during the Superbowl

-M & Ms ain’t SIMPS

-Goats will eat Doritos for days on end, but the minute you run out , THEY WILL FLIP SHIT!

-Pepsi Next will get you out of trouble with your parents

-Amy Poehler asks a lot of (freaky) questions

-Oreo cookies can start a riot

-Not another Fast and Furious?!

-That new Toyota family car grants wishes

-LaMichael? Really?

-Doritos will make the manliest man into a cross-dresser LOL

-Superbowl can be won with voodoo

-The Rock: Fuck the world, where’s the milk!

-Ratchetness.  That second quarter fight between the Ravens and Niners. Showing Bad Girls club and Real housewives how it’s done. :D

-Jamaican accent makes work a little more bearable. “Don’t worry brudda, de sticky bun come soon.”

-Arabs, Cowboys, Showgirls and Post-Apocalyptic badasses, all love coke. 

-Old folks go pretty hard when Taco Bell is involved

-Apparently sketchers help you walk down cheetahs and save gazelles

-Jacoby Jones came home to break ankles!

-The Madden Skunk rule should be instituted for games like this…

-Army commercial:  “Half the battle is knowing this is half the battle”…What ever happened to “KNOWING is have the battle?”

-Apples are gonna make damn sure you drink their drink (Redd’s Apple Ale)

-The 49ers gave up the LONGEST kick return in history.

-A lot of Niners fans are throwing furniture, flipping tables and burning their jerseys right now.

-Iron Man 3. Fuck yeah

-If you’re a Ravens’ fan, can’t nobody tell you shit Monday

-Niners fans will show up at work looking like somebody shot their puppy.

-You may be able to fight a shark MMA style, but Axe products will make the other guy into an astronaut…chicks dig Astrounauts.

-Gangnam Style is immensely strong, and immune to nearly any weapon.  When properly used it can crack Pistachios

-Fuck yo’ panties, I need this dryer…Can I have your number

-According to Budweiser the bond between a man and his horse is unbreakable

-If your team is losing, find a way to cause a power outage.  It should swing the momentum in your favor. Or not.

-I’m pretty sure someone will investigate whether the power outage was intended (Conspiracy anyone?)

-Deon Sanders cannot let go…

-God made farmers? Seriously?

-For fuck’s sake stop lying to your kids about where babies come from.

-In 1988 Willem Dafoe play jesus, in 2013 he’s the devil

-When you’re not pulling for a team, you can enjoy the game more

-This was the most exciting game I’ve seen in a long time

-Confetti Angels.

-It’s good to see Ray Lewis go out a champion

-And finally when you come from behind, narrow the point margin, and realize it’s your game to lose..don’t fucking lose.